Fitness Tips Everyone’s Heard (That Don’t Work at All)

Barefoot Running ShoesHey there, Rockheads! With bikini season just around the corner, everyone’s tryin’ to whip into shape and quick. After this here caveman spent half an hour tryin’ to squeeze into my favorite summer loincloth, I realized it might be a good idea to look up some fitness tips. The problem is though, how d’you know which tips to follow? Sometimes it’s just as important to know what won’t work as it is to know what will work. So with that in mind, I consulted the trusty people over at to give ya their list of 6 fitness tips that everyone’s heard (that don’t work at all)! Let’s see what these fellas have got to say:

      1) Breakfast

      Heck, this caveman’s been hearin’ about the benefits of breakfast since the Stone Age. A lot of people claim that eatin’ breakfast will “jump-start your metabolism” so that you can burn more calories faster throughout the day. Turns out, this just ain’t the case. Other “experts” will tell ya that if you skip out on breakfast, by the time you make it to lunch you’ll be so hungry that ya overeat! However, studies show that’s not the case either. While you may feel better for eatin’ breakfast in the mornin’ from a fitness perspective, skippin’ it ain’t gonna hurt you none either.

      2) BMI

      Chances are, most of you Rockheads have heard of BMI (Body Mass Index). This over 100-year-old concept is basically just dividin’ yer weight by yer height. The problem with this system though is that it don’t take into consideration whether yer luggin’ around 200 pounds of fat or 200 pounds of muscle. It’s about time the BMI index goes the way of the dinosaur.

      3) Barefoot Running

      Now, I’ve been around since barefoot running was just called “running.” Back in my day, it wasn’t a trend; it was a way of life. And I’ve gotta tell ya, runnin’ these days (y’know, with athletic shoes and such) is so much better. The theory goes that since we evolved to run without shoes so if you run barefoot, you’ll be gettin’ the most out of your fitness routine. In reality, there ain’t a whole lot of data to back up the claim that barefoot runnin’ is any better for you. In fact, a number of doctors claim that they’ve seen a spike in sports related injuries that you can only get by barefoot running. Moral of this story: maybe humans evolved to wear shoes for a reason.

      4) Muscle Confusion Fitness Routines

      A lot of fitness programs, like the P90X 90-day program, claim that they’ll confuse your muscles to stop ’em from gettin’ complacent and allowing your fitness level to plateau. Let’s just make somethin’ clear. Your muscles are not people and they ain’t gonna get bored. If you’re pushin’ the same amount of weight and notice after a while that you’re not seein’ the same benefits as before, that’s not because your muscles are bored; it’s because your muscles have gotten stronger. To fix this and give yourself more of a challenge, all you’ve gotta do is add more weight or increase the number of reps or sets. No crazy “muscle confusion” plans required.

      5) Snacking

      A lot of people’ll tell ya that if you have a snack craving, you should eat a few carrot sticks or some celery. If you’re anything like this caveman, that’s just not gonna cut it. If you just don’t get satisfied eatin’ that rabbit food, it’s okay to indulge in a few potato chips – so long as you carefully control the portion sizes. Instead of grabbin’ the whole bag of potato chips, grab a handful and put the rest back in the cupboard where they belong.

      6) Water

      Let’s set the record straight: you do need to drink 8 8oz cups of water a day. On average, that’s the amount of water you need to consume but here’s the thing: water comes in most of what you eat. From steak and pasta to fruit and bread, all of these foods contain water. You don’t need to drink an additional 8 oz of water a day. Also, people claim that water can fill you up so you won’t be hungry. Actually, since thirst and hunger are separate systems, drinkin’ that extra cup of water ain’t gonna curb your candy bar craving at all.

Hope this helps ya on the quest for the perfect bikini bod this summer season!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *