The World’s Most Dangerous Golf Courses

I dunno about you guys, Rockheads, but when I think about a day out on the course, the first thing that comes to this caveman’s mind is relaxation. It’s downright pleasant to hit the links on a warm spring day with a few buds and shoot a round of golf. Who woulda thunk it that certain golf courses ain’t exactly relaxin’ but some are downright dangerous! Just to get yer adrenaline pumping on this Monday mornin’ how ’bout we take a look at some of the world’s most dangerous golf courses accordin’ to Cracked.com. It’ll make you grateful the only thing you have to worry at your home course is that damn sand trap!

Camp Bonifas

Accordin’ to Sports Illustrated, Camp Bonifas is one of the world’s most dangerous golf courses. But what exactly is it about this course that makes it so deadly? As with a lot of things in life, sometimes it’s all about location. As it happens, this here golf course is situated right between a U.S./South Korea Army Base and the Korean Demilitarized Zone. The course is nestled in a small village that’s directly between North and South Korea. Even this caveman’s smart enough to know that those two groups ain’t exactly fond of each other.

And if that alone wasn’t enough to convince you that this course is a bit on the dangerous side, as it turns out, the whole thing is set smack dab in the middle of an active minefield! Anyone who wants to play on this course has gotta sign a waiver which tells you straight out that “serious injury or death” are a distinct possibility out on the fairway. At least once, a ball that was teed off actually detonated a mine. I dunno about you, but I think I’ll stick to my local course.

Merapi Golf Course

This Indonesian golf course reminds me of the ol’ days: it’s located right next to an active volcano! This one’s a little more active than even this caveman’s used to. Since the mid 1990s, it’s erupted three times. The most recent eruption was only a few short years ago back in 2010 when it killed over 350 people.

So why do people go to this course at all? Accordin’ to the resort’s website, people love the scenic views and cool temperatures that the altitude provides. Of course, on that particular course, things can heat up pretty darn quick!

Uummannaq Golf Course

Home of the World Snow Golf Championship since 1997, the Uummannaq Golf Course is the most northern course in the world. The course changes every year thanks to the snow and ice that’s constantly shifting. The actual course is situated right on top of a glacier! Orange balls are used instead of white so that you can actually see ’em and no one uses graphite clubs since the freezin’ temperatures will actually snap ’em right in half!

The temperatures on this course can go all the way down to 30 below! I ain’t seen temperatures like that since the Ice Age. That’s cold enough to freeze even the hardiest of cavemen!

Prisonview Golf Course

This here golf course sits within view of a maximum-security prison! Located in Angola, Louisiana, the golf course has been open to the public since 2004. While most courses make ya pay greens fees, the Prisonview Golf Course makes ya go through a body check and car inspection. Considerin’ that Prisonview is known as the “bloodiest prison in the United States,” maybe you might want to think twice before you leave yer golf clubs unattended.

Shukuza Golf Course

Even on your tamest of golf courses, you’re gonna deal with some occasional wildlife. Whether it’s an annoyin’ bird that squawks into yer backswing or a squirrel in your peripheral vision, we all know that nature can get in the way of a perfect shot.

At the Shukuza Golf Course, you’ve got a little bit more to worry about than a fluffy little chipmunk. Located right next to famed Kruger National Park, this South African course has warnings posted all over the park. However, they ain’t warnin’ you against feedin’ the fluffy woodland creatures. They’re saying stuff like: “Lions, elephants, leopards, rhinos and buffaloes, Do not run away! If you run, the animal will believe that it has gained the advantage and it will be more likely to give chase.”

There’s even a lake in the course appropriately dubbed “Lake Panic” that has signs posted all around warnin’ players of the hippos and crocodiles that hang around. The staff even warns players about the hippos (by far the most dangerous animals on the course): “If you’re out here and hippos attack you, you have no chance. There’s no way to survive them. Their teeth are huge.” All in all, the course has a serious body count of unlucky staff members and players alike.

There ya have it, Rockheads – the world’s most dangerous golf courses! I dunno about you fellas, but this here caveman spent the better part of the last few millennia risin’ to the TOP of the food chain. I think I’ll be much more comfortable knockin’ back a brew and relaxin’ by my favorite plain-ol’ safe golf course this weekend.