How To Golf During A Hurricane

For some of my Rock Heads, those living along the East Coast of the States, this will be an interesting week. Hurricane Sandy is bearing down; many places are being evacuated. So Scratch is here with a few hurricane tips!

Since I have been around since Paleolithic time periods, let me reassure you that hurricanes have been around for ages, and are nothing new. The only thing we have now, is instant global notification of any disturbances. It used to take years before I would find out about something that happened on the other side of the world.

“Do you remember the Blizzard of 112?” They said in 115 A.D,

and of course I didn’t. I had moved south to get away from the snow. I am more of a tropical being, even if my ancestors are from the British Isles.

While there is a good chance that this hurricane will toss trees around, there is also a fairly high probability that it will extinguish the fire, which is a blessing in disguise.

That being said, you should definitely be prepared for Sandy’s arrival, or any natural disaster for that matter. Luckily ABC has done the ground work, and laid out a checklist for you to do before its arrival. You can check that out here but it includes:

1) Being Prepared for Phone Interruptions (Because you never know when you might need to get the urge to Drunk Dial your ex)
2) Create a Disaster Plan, or Test your Current one (What to do in worst case scenarios, not creating one)
3) Check Insurance Policies (Better make sure your assets are covered)
4) Asses Your House For Vulnerabilities (including the yard for launch-able debris)
5) Take Video or Photos For Home Inventory (So you can put everything back together like a puzzle later)
6) Consider Important Supplies, Including Water & Food (Or weapons in case of zombie apocalypse)
7) Shelter Considerations For Yourself and Pets (Family members can fend for themselves)

Here are two great lists on what to do at home to prepare: One from a Katrina survivor and one from a Floridian who has been through many hurricanes

But what about golf?

Should we put our Sunday games on hold just because of some wind and rain… Probably, but for those of you who are die-hard golf fans (probably meant quite literally if you actually attempt this), I have compiled my own list of tips to help you out.

First and foremost, you are going to need rain gear. I have plenty to offer at the cave, and you can even check out my umbrella give-a-way this weekend! Also make sure that you have an insurance card and a form of ID in a waterproof plastic bag, securely fastened to your person, so in the event of misfortune, you can be helped in the order of how good your coverage is.

Next you are going need to make sure you have the best traction possible. Grab some new cleats for your golf shoes, or if you aren’t satisfied with that, you can try grabbing some tree climbing spurs for added grip. You may also want to add some rain golf gloves or some all-weather golf gloves for a sturdy grip. Also get yourself some some Velcro ties, almost like a surf board tether, to wrap around your wrist and attach it to your club. That way, when it happens to slide out of your hands, which will happen, it wont go far. Just be careful that it doesn’t swing back around and have a go at your head, but if you have your helmet on, you should be fine.

The rules of the course are going to change a bit. The increased flooding is going to make putting look more like a chipping game, bunkers are going to turn into water hazards, so be sure to adjust your lies accordingly. Try to play into the wind as much as possible, any little pop up is going to be carried away, so adjust your trajectory the best you can.

Your score card will easily be soaked. Electronic score cards may work well, however, be careful they they don’t suffer a similar fate but with some added sparks and fizzle. You may want to even just forget keeping score and give yourself a higher handicap. Shooting par for this event is equivalent to acing a hole on a regular day, so if you are able to accomplish this feat, buy your surviving match partners a round!


P.S. Don’t actually attempt golfing during a hurricane, it is profoundly idiotic, be safe and make sure your loved ones are as well!

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