February 16th, 1996, was the day it was released, and the first day I saw it. And so this Week marks the 15th anniversary of one of my favorite Golfin movies of all times, Happy Gilmore.
The flick is filled to the brim with great quotes, and yesterday I asked my Facebook Rock Heads what their favorite quotes were:
Orderly: You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up! Now, you will go to sleep! Or I will PUT you to sleep. Check out the name tag. You’re in MY world now, grandma!
Shooter: You’re in big trouble though, pal. I eat pieces of s**t like you for breakfast!
Happy: You eat pieces of s**t for breakfast?
Happy: You little son of a b***h ball! Why you don’t you just go HOME? That’s your HOME! Are you too good for your HOME? ANSWER ME! SUCK MY WHITE A**, BALL!
Happy: The price is *wrong*, b***h!
Shooter: I saw two big fat naked bikers off seventeen having sex! How am I supposed to chip with that going on Doug?
And here are a few of my personal favorites:
Happy: Hey, my girlfriend is dead, you know. She fell off a cliff and died on impact.
Happy: I am good. You know what, you’re a lousy kindergarten teacher. I’ve seen those finger-paintings you bring home and they SUCK.
Caddy: Mr. Gilmore, I’m your caddy!
Happy: Oh, I’m sorry about that. Let me carry these, alright, they were my grandfather’s, they’re pretty old.
Caddy: Well, what should I do then?
Happy: I don’t know. Why don’t you just watch me, and make sure I don’t do anything stupid. Okay?
Announcer: Mr. Gilmore, Mr. Lafferty will be teeing off now.
Happy Alright, good luck, buddy.
Caddy: Get out the way.
Happy: Where were you on that one,
Chubbs: They wouldn’t let me play on the Pro Tour anymore.
Happy: Ah, I’m sorry. Because you’re black?
Chubbs: Hell no! Damned alligator BIT my hand off!
Shows His Wooden Hand
Happy Gilmore: OH MY GOD!
Chubbs: Yeah. tournament down in Florida. I hooked my ball in the rough down by the lake. Damned alligator just POPPED up, cut me down on my prime. He got me, but I tore one of that bastard’s eyes out though. Look at that.
Happy: You’re pretty sick, Chubbs.
So maybe it’s the most far fetched of the golfin’ films, but it definitely makes me laugh every time I watch it. What are your favorite Quotes?